Mom's A Genius 7/7

The "Mommy Meltdown Basket" and Self Regulation

We defined self regulation and dysregulation in my last post.  I want to talk about coregulation today.  Psychologist Alan Fogel describes coregulation as the “continuous unfolding of individual action that is susceptible to being continuously modified by the continuously changing actions of the partner.”  “Don’t rile up your brothers and sister!” was heard more than a few times in my childhood home.  Teachers observe this dynamic in their classrooms every day and develop management strategies to minimize its distraction from learning.

However, can we take a moment now to consider that in our hurried, pressured lives perhaps we don’t always recognize that our adult behavior has an equal or maybe greater effect on our children’s behavior than either that of their siblings or peers?  If so, shouldn’t we spend some time becoming aware of our own dysregulation triggers; developing coping strategies; and, thus improving our ability to self regulate?  I think so!

“When you start at a “9″ it doesn’t take much to get to a “10″.

I credit Rose Montie, an extraordinary teacher of children on the autism spectrum, with the above quote.  She has been my closest friend for more than 25 years.  She first said it to me 17 years ago when I was a new mother struggling with the demands of my infant daughter.  I have heard it from her hundreds of times since then as I have continued to struggle to bring my beautiful, brilliant girl to a well-adjusted and productive young adulthood.  I silently chant it like a mantra whenever she is jumping on my last nerve and I become aware of my body’s cues that tell me that I am about to lose it – holding my breath, the overwhelming urge to fight or flee, etc.  It reminds me to immediately take the necessary steps to get myself to a number less than 5.  Please use it if you think that it will help you.

I firmly believe that many times dysregulation results from unmet basic needs like those for food, water, clean air, comfortable shelter, sleep, the ability to go to the bathroom, and emotional and physical safety.  Unmet needs quickly get us to a “9″.  An external stress pushes us right to a “10″. Thus, the“Mommy Meltdown Basket”.

Simply put, the “Mommy Meltdown Basket” is a collection of items that help calm you. It’s like the airplane’s oxygen masks that drop out of the panel above your head in the event of that something very bad has happened.  You are advised to first secure your own mask before you assist others.

I actually have two baskets – one for home and one for the car.  My basket includes chocolate (Godiva), flowers (gerbera daisies), a coloring book and crayons (Books-A-Million carries beautiful ones for grown ups), my favorite lemonade glass (Mason jar with a handle), herbal tea, music (from Stress Free Kids), and my favorite book (To Kill A Mockingbird and soon its sequel).  Yours may have essential oils, stress balls, balloons or a bubble machine.  It doesn’t matter as long as you include items that will soothe each of your five senses and that will nourish your sense of well-being.

My challenge to you is to start assembling your basket TODAY!  And, please leave me a comment with your favorite “Mommy Meltdown Basket” item as it may inspire others.

Self Regulation Defined

Recently, a local Director of Special Education asked me to speak to his Friends of Different Learners group about self regulation.  “Sure,” I responded while quietly feeling a little intimidated.  What new and effective strategies could I possibly  share with parents and teachers who were already experts about the differently-abled children in their lives?

My initial approach to any challenge is to learn the lingo. So, off to the internet I went.  My findings boiled down to the following:

• Self regulation is the neurological ability to evaluate sensory input; identify your emotional feelings about it; and, choose an appropriate behavioral response within the context of your current environment.

Most of us do this instantaneously without consciously thinking about the process.  However, if I am someone on the autism spectrum, for example, my brain’s physical structure may not allow me to successfully receive sensory data nor to properly process it.  My limbic system, the brain’s emotion processing pathway, may cause me to respond to my feelings with atypical behaviors.  I stress this because it is important to separate the person from the behavior.  Not everyone can do back bends!

• Dysregulation refers to an emotional response that is deemed out of proportion to the sensory stimuli.  You may also know it as a “meltdown”.  The affected person’s brain is so overwhelmed by incoming sensory information that their observable reaction may include an angry verbal outburst or a physical reactions such as destroying or throwing objects or aggression toward themselves or others.

That’s enough for this post.  Tomorrow?  The Mommy Meltdown Basket!

Healing Complex Kids Presents...

Come Get Your Bunny Slippers On!

Friendship Circle's Great Bike Giveaway Is On!

The Friendship Circle invites you to enter their Great Bike Giveaway!



The contest is already underway and will end at 11:59 AM on March 25, 2014.  The drawing will be held and the winner announced on March 26th!

Each bike page has a space where users can enter the contest. Submit a picture of your child with special needs along with a short explanation of why your child needs an adaptive bike.

There are two ways to win:

1) Most Nominations - One bike in each contest will be given away to the entry with the most nominations. Nominations are received from friends and family clicking the “nominate button” on your post.  You must have a minimum of 50 nominations to qualify.

2) Random Drawing - All the remaining bikes will be placed in a drawing. To be eligible for the drawing each submission must be nominated by at least 50 friends and family members.

Spread the Word!  By asking people for nominations, participants will draw more visitors to the Great Bike Giveaway Contest and increase the amount of donations. This in-turn will add more bikes to the raffles and give more children with special needs a chance to win a special bike.

Click here to enter!

Click here for full contest rules!

Crowdfunding Fuels Warner's Corner Toys' Innovation!

A rapidly growing number of intelligent moms are creating products and services to improve the world in which we live.  Fueled by my passion for the education and safety of children with special needs, I created Warner’s Corner Toys. My vision is that it will become the premiere store for the whole special needs and learning challenged community.  My mission is to assemble such a diverse toy and resource collection that I can match each child with the perfect toy to meet their needs.  In addition, I wish to make it affordable for every family.

My web store is up and running and I am happy with myr current progress.  However, I need to expand.  In order to do so, this week I will launch a Ms. Genuity crowdfunding campaign.  Ms.Genuity is a new crowdfunding company that focuses on mom-invented products.  Mary Ann O’Neil, CEO for Ms. Genuity, notes that, “speaking with Laura about her passion for Warner’s Corner Toys is contagious!  She has put every bit of her heart and soul into helping children with special needs “become.”

Since opening Warner’s Corner Toys, the prevalence of autism, for example, has increased from 1 in 110, to 1 in 88 with 1 in 54 being boys.  According to the CDC’s 2013 study, the incidence rate of Down syndrome has increased from 1 in 733 births to 1 in 691.  The numbers of children being diagnosed with learning disabilities also continues to climb.  Resources, however, are not keeping pace with this exponentially growing need.  Families, educators and therapists the world over are on a mission to find affordable, safe, and effective tools.  It is my hope that Warner’s Corner Toys will be their answer.

I believe strongly that a child engaged in play is a child engaged in learning.  That belief inspired the creation of Warner’s Corner Toys.    The toys selected for the web store have been carefully chosen to appeal to children with special needs worldwide.  They fuel kids’ creativity and help them develop gross and fine motor skills.  The toys teach everyday living skills through role play.  They promote the social and communication skills necessary to build rewarding relationships.  Perhaps most importantly, the toys encourage successful problem solving which gives children the confidence to be independent.

In my journey to create Warner's Corner Toys, I have partnered with the Autism Association of Michigan's trainer, the police officers that created Find 'em Scent Kits, the non-profit Project Life Saver and other safety organizations to present an autism awareness training in the Detroit area.  With advice from both police officers and firefighters, I am designing special needs awareness alerts to help First Responders know when they are entering a home where an individual on the autism spectrum, for example, lives or if they are in a vehicle that has been stopped.  They will then be able to act accordingly and everyone will be safer. These alerts will include reflective window clings, magnets, stickers, and velcro/hanging signs that indicate "Autism Alert", "Special Needs Alert", etc. and "Individual May Not Respond to Verbal Commands."

Visit my project page about Warner’s Corner Toys on www.MsGenuity.com and consider contributing to my efforts to help children with special needs.

Win a Peanut Ball!

Enter Friendship Circle of Michigan's Contest to win a peanut ball from Warner's Corner Toys! Click Here to Enter